It took only three Bumble spends to find a profile resume with the sentence “I’m an open book, just ask.”
This may be the least surprising guide I’ve ever written for an article. If you have taken the time to The applications you have probably noticed that there is a uniformity of language that permeates many bios. There are phrases that come up again and again: “Just say hello.” “Quotes too much from The Office.” “He has sarcasm.”
There’s a corner of my brain that holds minor conspiracy theories stored away like that can of French sliced green beans you’re never in the mood for. And that’s where I imagine a global online dating meeting where it was decided that the only way to address altitude queries is to write: “[Height] because obviously that matters. ”
During a dinner with friends a few weeks ago, I raised this topic and one of them admitted that he had exactly this phrase about height in his biography on Tinder. Sensing that this might be the first step in unraveling the mystery, I asked where he got it from. He said a friend told him to put it in his resume. And when I made him ask his friend where he would hearing this, the friend was unsure and thought that there might be no point of origin, but rather that the whole thing was a convergent evolution.
A review of Google’s results from previous years also failed to find any first gold specimens of the phrase.
So there was probably no meeting, or at least I wasn’t invited. Nevertheless, the same language is found between the sexes and, according to my international colleagues, in water basins, which used to provide much more effective barriers to the spread of trends.
Of course, writing profiles in dating apps can be a challenge. You are trying to figure out how to distill your personality – all those intangible qualities that someone might actually like – in a few hundred words. All the time you are trying to find a certain economy, relying on details that signal something deeper about your lifestyle.
So after talking to friends, colleagues and strangers on the internet, I’m here to offer you the Love Sync Guide for the most annoying phrases in online dating.
He has sarcasm
It is quite possible that “sarcasm” has become a shorthand for a sense of humor. But ask yourself: what exactly is appealing about constantly saying things you don’t mean? And in this tone.
I’m an open book, just ask
While it’s a good idea to signal openness to share a potential match about yourself, this phrase is often a lazy-sounding substitute for writing a resume. Remember that the purpose of a resume is to help others understand if they want to talk to you. Do not invite them to go on a fishing expedition in the hope that you will both enjoy Norwegian Slow TV.
[Height] because obviously that matters
Will I continue to blame the patriarch for public barriers to gender and height? Of course. In the meantime, adding that to your resume is like doing a little (unnecessary) fingering in future matches that you may not really care how tall you are.
I’m sick of answering
You may need to work on this skill, given that most of these sites work this way.
I’m looking for a partner in crime
Better have Thunderbird ’66, which we can get off the cliff.
Not looking for a writing friend
Of course, if you talk to online dating, there is a common problem with chats that last too long without either party making the move to meet in person. But the preventive scolding of future matches is repulsive. Instead, you may want to focus on making plans, or better yet, just ask.
Here for a good time not for a long time
If nothing else, at least you are ahead of what you are looking for. And hey, if someone else out there isn’t looking for the whole white fence deal, it may not matter that you’re not Shakespeare. But think again, even if you’re trying to lock up Friday night and nothing more, there are still tons of profiles competing with yours using the same verbosity.
Too many quotes from The Office
It is perfectly reasonable to think that common interests will attract potential coincidence. But here’s the thing: choose an interest that’s more unique to you than, say, liking one of the most popular TV shows in recent memory. (Nielson found that The Office is the most watched show on Netflix in 2018.) At one point, maybe liking The Office meant being the type of person who loves lazy humor, jokes, and the shattering romantic tension. These days, it just means you like a popular show. It’s like hoping someone likes you because you’re such a big fan of french fries. Like puppies and the sun, these are not conflicting interests.
Also ask yourself: Are you really quoting so much from The Office? How much is “too much?” Does it border on annoying?
Just remember that quoting from The Office is not a person.
I’m looking for Jim for my Pam (or vice versa)
On the one hand, it can be a super-economic line to have in your resume – you signal that you are looking for something serious, while nodding to some of the pop culture you like. But to refer to the above record, THIS IS THE OFFICE. It is not unique. Maybe it’s better to choose characters from a show, movie or book that are more unusual (but not so vague that no one will understand what you’re talking about). OR you could give up the cliché altogether and write something else.
If my dog doesn’t like you, it won’t work
Pet owners can get quite wrapped up in their furry friends. For example, I essentially handed over the second bedroom of my apartment to my cat Salsa. However, if you talk to dating coaches, they usually advise you to stay away from negative language in your profile. Just think: you haven’t even met and you are already setting out a condition for how the relationship will fail. But at least you will have your dog to cuddle with!
I’m only here for pictures of dogs
Really, I have no idea what this is trying to convey, other than maybe a sense of humor? Or the ability to copy and paste a mobile device?
I just moved here, show me!
Being new to the city is definitely an important detail to discover. This can lead to some initial conversation about what caused the move or even chat about the places you lived. The “show me” part leaves the other person with those vague thoughts about “why?” And “certainly Thrillist has a few articles about it. “
I collected my shit. You should too.
Should? It’s good for you to know what you want, but maybe be less abrasive about it? YIKES.
General references to fun and laughter
Again, put this under “conflicting interests.” Do you know what would be interesting? The man who hates to laugh. Show me this man. I have questions.
Just say hello
CNET’s Love Syncs is a column of tips focused on online dating. If you have a question about finding love through an app, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org for review.